De Ebonics Crimmus Pome

We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de' heck
That old Santa Clause
Be bringin' our check.

All o'de fambily
Wuz layin in de beds
While Ripple and cocaine
Danced through dey heads.

I passed out inna' flo
Right nex to my Maw
When I heard sech a fuss
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars
What covered my doe
'spectin' de sheriff
Wif a warrant fo sho.

And what did I see
I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge watermellon
Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years
Santa Clause, he be white
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees cah
My home boy he came
He whupped on dem warf rats
An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on 'Lonzo
And on Willie Lee
On Saphire, on Tu Pac
Dey wuz a site to see!!

As he landed dat watta' mellon
Out der in da skreet
I knowed it was fo' sho'
Da damndest site I ebber see.

He didn't go down no chimbley
He picked da' lock on my doe
An' I sez to myself
"Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag
Full of prezents I 'spect
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents
Jus started stealin my shit
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my booglar's kit!!

Wit my stuff in de bag
Out da window he flewed
I woudda' tried to catched him
But he stoled mah shooz too!!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon
An' whipped out a switch
He wuz gone in a seccon'
Dat son of a bitch!!

Next year I be hopin':
Anutha Sanna we git
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause
Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!