Wednesday, September 21, 2005 © 2005 WorldNetDaily.com Are liberals from another planet? Posted: September 21, 2005 1:00 a.m. Eastern By Burt Prelutsky I really don't like insulting liberals. It's a dirty
job, but, as they say, somebody has to do it. The truth is,
I have friends and relatives who are of that political
persuasion, although, lately, some of them have started
calling themselves progressives. Which is interesting
because, back in 1948, when Henry Wallace, with the fervent
backing of the American Communists, ran for president, he
was the Progressive Party candidate.
Still, most of the liberals I know are reasonably decent
people. They try to raise their kids the right way,
although they often send their tots off to private schools
while denying vouchers to parents poorer than themselves.
As a rule, though, I'd say they mean well.
But, sometimes, I swear, you could easily get the idea
that they're from Mars, and are just down here for a visit.
For openers, look at the cast of characters they rally
around. I mean, imagine attending a party – let
alone belonging to a party – that included the likes of John
Kerry, Charles Schumer, Hillary Clinton, Michael Moore,
Jimmy Carter, Patrick Leahy, Nancy Pelosi, Al Franken,
Robert Byrd, Harry Reid, and Barbara Boxer. Unless you had
an unnatural affinity for humorless blowhards and
hypocrites, you'd run screaming out of the house even before
the soup was served.
One of the troubles with those on the left is that they
don't react to crimes, even crimes of terrorism, the way
normal people do. For instance, most of those who devote
their careers to defending murderers, rapists and
pedophiles, are of the leftist bent, as are the dues-paying
members of the criminal-coddling American Civil Liberties
Union. Furthermore, most of those deranged people who
congregate outside prisons, holding candlelight vigils for
serial killers about to meet their maker, are likewise
liberals.
And the way they carry on over public displays of
religion at Christmas and Easter, you'd think they were as
terrified of crosses as Count Dracula.
While conservatives declare war on terrorism, liberals
declare quagmires, and demand the announcement of deadlines
for withdrawal that would merely serve to encourage Islamic
fascists to bide their time.
Liberals claim they are for the rights of women, but they
don't celebrate the defeat of the Taliban because to do so
would reflect well on President Bush and his ambition to be
the Johnny Appleseed of democracy. Liberals claim that they
are against tyrants, but they wring their hands over our
losses in Iraq, although even after these many months of
armed conflict, the number is far less than we suffered on
9-11. And although, in words, the libs champion liberty and
freedom, they would turn their collective backs on Iraq's
fledgling democracy in a nanosecond.
Liberals claim that they support our troops even as they
insist the young men and women are fighting an unnecessary
and illegal war, being waged strictly for oil, although we
haven't claimed a single derrick, and it was those who
opposed invasion – the French, the Germans, the Russians,
and other assorted grafters connected to the United Nations
– who had the profitable oil deals with Saddam Hussein.
Even as the leftists claim to support our troops, they take
every opportunity to defile thousands of soldiers for the
minor misdeeds of a few.
The same liberals who'd have a conniption fit if the
government insisted that every felon in America be provided
with a New or Old Testament carries on as if every Muslim
terrorist incarcerated at Guantanamo is entitled to a
pristine copy of the Quran under the terms of the Geneva
Convention.
Liberals are convinced that the Three-strikes law is
cruel and unusual punishment. They quail at the idea that a
career criminal could go to jail for life for swiping a
pizza or walking off with a six-pack of beer. The way they
carry on, you'd think they were all criminal-defense
attorneys or even criminals. For one thing, only a small
number of crimes are ever solved. For another, of those
few, a sizeable number are plea-bargained down to
misdemeanors.
Taking all that into consideration, isn't it logical to
assume that before anybody is convicted of two felonies, he
has probably committed 10 felonies or 20 or, more likely,
50? And knowing that a third conviction might send him back
to the cooler for life, wouldn't you think he'd make every
effort to keep his nose clean? And if he lacks even that
modicum of common sense, shouldn't we assume that he suffers
from terminal stupidity, and shouldn't we lock him up not
only for our own safety, but for his?
Sometimes, when I look around at liberals, and listen to
the pro-U.N., one-world-under-Kofi-Annan blather they spout,
I feel a little like Dorothy in an updated version of "The
Wizard of Oz": "Toto, forget Kansas. I don't think we're
even in America."
And this time around, when the little mutt pulled the
curtain aside, my guess is that the "great and powerful Oz,"
feverishly working the levers and the smoke machine, would
turn out to be a red-nosed grifter who looked an awful lot
like Ted Kennedy and sounded an awful lot like Howard
Dean.
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Burt Prelutsky has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and a freelance writer for TV Guide, Modern Maturity, the N.Y. Times and Sports Illustrated. He has also written TV scripts for shows such as "Dragnet," "MASH," "Mary Tyler Moore" and "Diagnosis Murder." His most recent book is "Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco." |